Confession time: Have you ever watched The Hills? If yes, were you able to control your laughter at their ridiculous lifestyle? Man alive, if you have then kudos to you.
I will admit that I have watched more than several episodes of this "reality" show. I know, it is really a waste of time. But do you want to know what is even more of a waste of time? Are you on the edge of your seat yet?
That's right folks. Lauren Conrad wrote a book. L.A. Candy. A young adult fiction book that has actually landed itself on the New York Times bestsellers list. It is currently #8. What the?!!! For some reason it dropped since the last time I checked. Couldn't tell you why. Well actually I can. It sucked. Hardcore. Yes, that means I read it. Every single page.
Let me give you a little taste of the book...
Jane. She is the "girl next door" type who moves to L.A. with her best friend. She wants to get out of her comfort zone to experience life to the fullest. She has an internship with one of the most prominent interior design companies in the country. Her boss is a bit of a witch, but somehow she survives it. (Tell me, does this not sound like a certain reality show that Lauren Conrad herself was on???) One night while out at a hot club, she was approached by a man who works for PopTV, which is the hottest television channel ever and asked to be on a new reality tv show called L.A. Candy. She ends up being the star of the show, and even narrates the opening credits.
Scarlett. Scarlett is the hot, bad girl. She doesn't care if people think she is a floosy. She just loves to stir up controversy. She is Jane's best friend, and moved to L.A. with her so she could attend USC. Although she puts up this front, she is actually really intelligent. After joining the cast of L.A. Candy, Scarlett realizes that it is not very realistic, and tries to remove herself from all of the craziness that new fame brings.
Gabby. She is on the cast of L.A. Candy. She is a ditz, and therefore the comic relief. In the book though, she is not that funny, just retarded. She didn't know Jane or Scarlett before the show, but they are portrayed as best friends who have known each other for a long time.
Madison. Madison is a rich girl, and the 4th member of L.A. Candy. She is Gabby's friend, but she is really mean to her. Madison thinks that she is going to be the star of the show, and is shocked when she sees that she is merely a pawn, and that Jane is the real star. She tries to sabotage Jane so that she can get as much lime light as possible.
In the beginning of the book, Jane and Scarlett are trying to figure out how to live the fast paced life of L.A. They lived in a dumpy apartment, and had to wait in lines to get into clubs. Poor babies right? But the moment they met the TV producer for L.A. Candy, everything changed. They were moved into a nice apartment, got into clubs with ease, were given free alcohol often, and got paid to do it. But soon they figure out that being filmed all the time was not as easy as it looked. Especially with tv producers trying to create drama in their lives for ratings.
Alright, alright. I have subjected you to enough of this nonsense. Do you want to know why exactly I thought this book was absolute crap? I will give you two reasons: Sex and the twisted friend relationships portrayed.
As you can see, the book is sickeningly similar to the tv show The Hills. On The Hills, the girls are constantly partying, drinking, making out with random guys, hooking up with random guys, etc. Which to be honest, is something you expect from MTV. This book is aimed at teenagers. It says on the NY Times bestsellers list that the book is intended for ages 14 and up. But can't you see a little innocent 12 year old girl looking at the tv and seeing that her favorite girl from The Hills has written a book and wanting to read it? These kids are already getting enough of a bad influence of how they can express their sexuality from the show, but now Conrad has the written word to further drill into these teen's heads that going to bed with random guys is fine as long as you are having fun. Scarlett mentions in the beginning of the book that she didn't care if she was caught on camera with a bunch of guys, because it would cause some controversy. How old is Scarlett exactly in the book? Nineteen. What were we doing at nineteen? Not having sex. Duh. Sexuality and intimacy was a really big part of the book. It was all about who was going to hook up with who, when and where. Is this really what we want teenagers to be reading? I thought it was really sick, and I am 23.
I have to admit, I have some really amazing friends. That's right, you guys are AH-mazing. You don't try to stab me in the back to steal my man. That means a lot. Seriously. Okay, enough messing around. I am going to get into some jargon that I learn at school, and you guys are going to think that I am real smart. Boys show their aggression and anger through physical means. "Dude, you totally kissed my shorty." PUNCH. Shorty...haha. But for girls, things get a lot more complicated. The technical term is relational aggression. Girls will get even with each other by hurting relationships, spreading rumors, excluding and ignoring, etc. Girls are mean! I believe that girls learn how to behave like this early on. I can remember watching Full House and seeing all of these scenarios being carried out by DJ and Kimmy.
The best instance of this relational back-biting was displayed by Madison. She was jealous of Jane, and therefore spread rumors that she cheated on her boyfriend, and then set Jane up with the paparazzi following her and making it appear that she had, in fact, cheated on her celebrity boyfriend. What is this going to teach the adolescent girls? If my friend makes me mad, I can just say nasty things about her. And what does this solve? Nothing.
The hardest part about reading this book, besides the obvious stated above, was trying to figure out which character related to The Hills. It was SO frustrating! Obviously Jane is Lauren. Madison is kind of like Heidi. But who was Scarlett? Maybe Audrina? I don't know. Oh, and they even had a Whitney, although her character's name in the book escapes me.
**If somehow you still want to read this book, I will warn you that it has some really nasty swear words (F-bombs left and right). And it was lame. Don't read it. Seriously.**
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